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Are you in denial about the assessment of your behavior and ability to control it? |
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Rationalization: "I'm a Christian, so I am different from other people who use porn because I have more resources on my side."
FACT: Studies indicate between 40-60% of Christian men have accessed cybersex, and one in five pastors have sexual problems with pornography or cybersex related issues. Only 53% of priests are completely celibate. Cybersex generates more income each year than the NFL, NBA and major league baseball combined! Bottom-line: your spiritual beliefs do not exempt you from the power of the sex drive. (For Biblical references see the stories of David, Samson, Solomon and others.) |
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Rationalization: "I'm getting a little bit concerned about my level of usage. I'm not sure if it's habitual, dependent or addictive. So, I'm not sure that I really have a problem yet."
ANSWER: If you are feeling a concern in any way related to your level of use, you should access this site. Why? Research has proven that when the power of the sex drive is coupled with states of mood relief and fantasy it forms a "gravitational gateway" to progressive states of dependence. Addiction experts note the presence of "tolerance" (need for progressively more of the conditioned experience) in virtually every form of addiction. Don't underestimate the power of your sex drive, your potential chemical addiction to the release of the sex related hormones in masturbation, and the potential psychological addiction of the fantasy escape experience.
Bottom-line: the sex drive is dynamite. Be concerned! |
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Rationalization: "This is a harmless activity. Many guys do it. It's a natural mode of expressing my male sex drive."
ANSWER: "Secret" behaviors and fantasy adventures have the clear potential of leading to problems of intimacy, if not already present. Men need real intimacy, not pseudo intimacy. Relationship dysfunction and sexual anorexia with one's mate are common symptoms of pornography use. For single persons, guilt and shame steals from your self-respect and confidence, and, no matter how well you are doing in other dimensions of your life, depletes energy and focus that could be applied to more positive pursuits.
Sex researcher Carnes describes three levels of sex addiction (Out of the Shadows, Hazelton, 1994), starting with the first level of "culturally acceptable". While widespread use conveys a partial tolerance, he notes that various forms of masturbation, pornography, compulsive relationships and anonymous sex "can be devastating when done compulsively".
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